DON’T MARRY HIM!!!! 9 signs he’s not the ONE

Hi, it’s me again 🙂

Below you will find a list of warning signs you can use to uncover or detect if your man is of the marrying kind or not.

I hang out with a lot of my guy friends and I see and hear how they speak to women, I have carried out research on these guys and I am confident enough to say that with the list below you could almost accurately predict if the guy you are dating is a “keeper” or a waste of time.

1)He is not supportive

be it financially, emotionally, physically e.t.c. “He has money for fun stuff, but can’t pay the rent”. In a relationship you have to support one another (especially when it comes to matters of finances) and guide each other, if your man isn’t doing that, you better think twice about the relationship.

money

2)You are not a priority

How important are you in his life? Does he return your calls? Would he rather spend time in the garage fixing his car than stay with you?

I mean don’t get me wrong, guys need their time to spend with the boys, to play with their toys, and just do their own thing , but you as his girl also need to be a priority

Take a look of the top three things he makes time for every single week, Are you in there?? If he can squeeze in hours in his day to play video games, hang out with the boys, fix his car then he can find time to call/text you back and hang out with you.

girl

3)Neither of you have experienced any personal growth since you started dating each other.

Someone asked me a while ago “Have you ever had a fight with your best friend?” and I said “No” I wondered why she asked me this question so I asked, She said that to know if your friendship is real you should have at least had fought

Now I understand her, what she meant was, before you commit to someone you should have already experienced some minor problems together,  and have come out of it stronger. When a couple goes through difficult situations, fights or disagreements, it gives them an opportunity to learn a lot about each other, for example: you learn the coping mechanisms of your partner, how they react and their limits e.t.c

When you learn all these, you get to come up with solutions to your problems that work for the both of you. You and your partner will have come out of that situation as a stronger, more informed couple, and you will be able to prevent that problem from coming up again.

boxing

4)You have the sense that he’s hiding something from you.

Last year my sister was in a relationship with a really nice lawyer, I thought she was going to get married to this guy, little did we know that the guy was already married and had children in another country, and my aunt is the one who told us after doing some research on him, my sister was devastated.(to say the least)

Because my aunt had doubts about him, her research saved my sister from being the second wife to some douche_bag. Girls use your insticnts, if you feel like your man is hiding things from you, you should probably deal with those feelings before you say “I do”.   It takes time and work to build trust, do not rush into a big commitment if you feel like there’s something wrong

secret

5) The glaring signs of ABUSE.

If a man is verbally, physically, or mentally abusive, he does not love or respect you. What he does, and not what he says, is what matters here, your safety is paramount. So, please leave any situation where your mental, emotional, and/or physical well-being is in danger. That also goes for the men who abuse their own bodies by using drugs or drinking too much.

abuse

6) Your most-trusted friends hate him, and he hates them, too.

This will definitely leave you unhappy and you should be happy. I mean yeah you can’t make everyone happy but still.

When you’re in the initial stages of falling in love, it’s going to be hard for you to hear anything your friends have to say about your new love interest, you might even think they are jealous

But if your smartest, emotionally healthiest friends have grave misgivings about your love, that’s a pretty good indicator that there’s something amiss. and If that guy really, truly love you, he will try his best to win your friends over.

images (3)

7) He is not responsible or doesn’t want to take responsibility.

He has a dozen reasons why he shouldn’t have to pay child support. The world conspires against him, and he’s gotten a raw deal, the unlucky breaks, the sucky bosses, and nothing is ever his fault.

If he trash talks everything and everyone around him, chances are he is unwilling to take a look at himself to see just how offensive he is. There’s about as much chance of a healthy relationship with a a guy like this as there is putting out a forest fire with a spray bottle.irs

8). He doesn’t value your opinion.

When my man doesn’t value my opinion when we are talking, I am usually left feeling like a sack of potatoes and very disrespected, I have a brain and I have things to say, I had to let him know that I am an intelligent human being and now he LISTENS to me.images (4)

If your man often shoots you down, or makes you feel that your opinion, preferences, or ideas are consistently unwelcome or he expects you to do things his way and you are constantly overruled by him, then girl you are NOT with the right man

9) Once a cheater…

This goes back to respect, honestly and trust. Some women can tolerate infidelity and end up forgiving their men and actually do have a successful marriage, but then again if their are many incidents of cheating in your relationship, you have a problem.

images (5)

Please remember, infidelity opens the doors to contracting sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS.

NOTE:

The above warnings or pointers, are things I’ve researched and learnt by hanging out with my guy friends and chilling with the Hubby.

Girls, you need to realize that love is not everything and it will not conquer all, before you fully commit to someone please be sure that you are 100% sure that he is the one for you, he should respect you and your parents, be supportive, he should love you, support you and treat you like you deserve to be treated.If you have doubts or feel like there’s something amiss, please discuss this with him, you could even seek professional advise from a counselor (me), or talk to your closest friend.

Warning: The list works both ways, of course! It’s one thing to rate your boyfriend, but it’s also telling to know how well he would rate you on these things too…

Love,

Cookie 🙂

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