How to Make Friends with your inner critic

Hey,

I’m sure all of us (especially us girls) have that lil voice in our head that keeps reminding us of all the negative things we think of ourselves “you’re fat”, “you’re unattractive”, “you have a long nose” “You’ll never get married” blah blah blah

Most of the time we are told to ignore that inner voice and I as a counselor have told my clients the same thing.  Recently, I got an article on my email that made me think otherwise about “ignoring that voice”

Claire Cassey is the writer of this article according to her;

What if you could actually make your inner critic voice your friend?

What if this voice that stops you from doing so many things you could possibly want to do, could be turned into something that can help you…. You would be unstoppable!

Here are a few tips for making it happen…

1. Know exactly what drives it

The source of nearly every criticism and cutting remark is fear. Once you know this, you can begin to see your inner critic as the vulnerable, frightened child she really is, not the monster you sometimes envision.

2. Face your inner critic with an open heart and calm spirit

A wise grandmother once said that fear creates two opportunities: you can Forget Everything And Run, or you can Face Everything and Rise. Try facing your inner critic with an open heart, a calm spirit, and an invitation to share what’s bothering her.

3. Look beneath the surface for the driving fears

Once the stream of negative commentary begins to ebb, take a careful look at what’s really at issue. Can you name your deepest, most raw fears? You don’t have to “fix” anything; the simple act of naming them is enough for now.
Am I afraid of being judged and found lacking?
Do I worry about being abandoned?
Am I afraid of success?
Am I expecting rejection?
Do I fear other people knowing that I am vulnerable?
Do I  seem hungry for approval or attention?

4. Reassurance from YOU

Your inner critic is the part of you that holds all the frightened, childlike parts of you; but you don’t have to “grow it up,” and you certainly shouldn’t try to make it disappear. Instead, let it know that you are confident that you can care, nurture, and help whenever it needs. Be a loving friend, envelop it with acceptance and kindness. (basically treat it like your child)

5. Invite her to be your Inner Champion

An inner critic is an Inner Champion waiting to be born.  By mentoring your inner critic and being grateful for the insight it gives, it may begin to turn your negative criticism into positive assistance.

and pretty soon you will be able to do anything you want to do.

You will be unstoppable!!

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