So the other day I was out shopping with my family and every dress I tried on was needless to say Amazing on me, I have an amazing body (toot toot) the shop owner and other shoppers kept telling me how good I look and how I have such a tiny waist, my mum and dad (yea we went shopping with dad too) kept saying “You look amazing in that dress, hun !”
My response was an instantaneous “You have got to be kidding” “I look like a grandma” , as the day went on, and as we kept shopping I kept doubting myself on the dress choices I had made and if I really looked as good as everyone else said I looked.
I’m pretty sure I made everyone tired of answering my questions “do I look good? are you sure???”
After the shopping experience, we went home to relax and I slowly started reflecting on how the day was. and the one thing I realized is that I’m pretty hard on my self and that has always been my signature style… every time someone tells me I look good or have a nice body, instead of saying thank you and accepting their complements I start downplaying myself, lowering my self esteem, being very negative basically just being a bully …. I’ve been bullying myself!!!
As women/ladies/girls we can be our own worst bullys/critic. We have been subjected to the ever-changing golden standards of physical perfection, I look at girls on t.v and others walking around town, in music videos and I want their bodies, style, lives… I see them and they are to me perfect
I have become the girl who down plays praise, and who’s forgotten, blatantly denied just how wondrous my body is
As I stood naked in front of the mirror, I was surprised I didn’t hate what I saw, I started to smile at all my curves (my concaves and convexs) , I smiled at my newly done hair, my skin, I felt like Maya Angelou must have felt when she wrote Phenomenal Woman. Why would I ever verbally abuse my body I had no idea
Why would we as women find it so hard to exalt out glorious imperfect bodies that drive men to pen poems, sculpt masterpieces, wage war, write songs and do other crazy things to proclaim their love for us.
What I have now come to learn is that all my flaws and imperfections have a beauty and innocence behind them, they tell me all my life stories.
Scars say “I survived”
Stretch marks say “I’m changing accommodate me”
And we have breasts!! Which men love and which have an entire month dedicated to them and taking care of ourselves, cue the music Your body is a wonderland-John Mayer
We should learn how to tolerate, understand, love and respect our bodies, We are beautiful people with beautiful bodies which go through so much as we grow and I understand that some days it might be difficult to feel good about ourselves and we might be a little bit down after eating that really nice juicy stake, but that doesn’t mean we are not beautiful.
I’m learning how to accept praise and complements with humility and grace, I’m trying to change my body image and we all as women should try to have a positive body image. You are beautiful, don’t let anyone tell otherwise