I want to sit somewhere and cry, and I mean really cry, not just whimper and fight back tears, I wanna bawl out. I know crying wont solve anything but I have come to know that it eases emotional tension. Did I do something wrong, am I being punished?, I sit in my room and pray, God knows I can’t handle this, I start questioning religion, if God exists why would He let all of these things happen, it’s always one thing after another and I have reached my breaking point. To top it all off I have to walk around like nothing is wrong, smile, be strong, no one knows I’m falling apart inside, I have no one to talk to, so I talk to myself. I need someone to tell me everything will be ok, I need help, I have been strong for way too long. So now I cry, I know it’s not the elixir but it takes some of the immediate burden, I feel relieved afterwards, but it’s time to take my pain pills again.